Employee Assistance Program (EAP) in the Northern Rivers
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Trusted Counsellors & Coaches
Northern Rivers Coaching and Counselling was formed to help employers, employees, and individuals work through their professional and personal challenges. As a local provider based in the Northern Rivers of NSW, we work closely with local organisations and individuals, providing guidance, counselling, mentoring and coaching to help them progress to the next stage of their professional journey.
All of our services, including
career counselling,
EAP support,
business coaching and
mental health services, can be delivered remotely either online or over the phone. We are happy to use any video conferencing application such as Zoom, but can also travel to your business premises (or even your home sometimes) when necessary for face to face sessions. Our team also has access to private practice rooms - just let us know your preference and we can work something out for you.
It can be hard to find a supportive environment to deal with challenges at work and home sometimes, but that's what we're here for. It can help to have someone neutral to talk to when you’re struggling, so why not reach out to us today? Let us help you work through your situation and figure out the next step to take.
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As we all start to get back to work, the uncertainty of a rising unemployment rate combined with the need to "play catch-up" from companies whose profits have been seriously impacted by recent events can create some unique stressors in the workplace. Under stress, we do not behave at our best. We become irritable and intolerant of others and we also become less conscious of how we are coming across to others. So too do our managers, who - yes, should by rights know better, but sadly are vulnerable to the same human flaws such as stress responses (did I say that? No I wouldn't say something like that..) and blind spots. We have all experienced an encounter of some sort, where our boss has left a lasting, negative experience which we can't seem to shake off. That comment during the meeting, the unfair treatment, the lack of real care or authenticity, or that condescending look. Let's face it. It hurts, hurts bad, and lasts a lot longer than we care to admit.
What if you knew in your heart that nothing out there intended to hurt or harm you? How would that feel? Anxiety, in the face of a real danger or threat, is a very good thing indeed. Our blood changes, our heart rate increases, our senses become heightened and our body transforms itself into a high performance machine, capable of running faster, fighting more ferociously, lifting heavier things, or even hiding quietly sometimes. We can use anxiety before a big performance like a presentation, interview, or sporting contest to "psych ourselves up" and deliver an outstanding larger than life performance. Anxiety can in fact be a very good thing and extremely helpful to our survival. However many of us (close to 15% of Australians) will experience an episode of an anxiety disorder this year. It's the most common diagnosable mental illness by a long way - more than double the prevalence of depression. And many more of us will experience something similar - not quite diagnosable, but still scary symptoms of a racing heart, shivery feelings, overwhelming fear, sweating, dizziness and generally feeling terrible. The difference with an anxiety disorder is that there is no threat or danger present - things just become scary and unmanageable. Often to the point where we run, hide, freeze, avoid, procrastinate, get in trouble at work, or become simply exhausted and unable to function.
Most of our lives are spent pursuing the path of least resistance. The method which offers up the most economy of effort. The lifestyle or workplace relationship that involves the least hassle, or conflict. We tend to do what is easiest. That is not to say we don't sometimes make life unnecessarily hard for ourselves. But that usually involves avoiding some truth, some uncomfortable and confronting experience where we might feel some shame or embarrassment. This avoidance, if not dealt with completely can seriously impact us and others around us. And worse - this can lead to something much more dangerous - denial. At this point we have lost insight into what is really happening, and instead we start to convince ourselves that everything is OK. We start to believe our own bullshit. At this point we might notice others starting to give up on us. It's not worth pointing out that we are heading down a path of misery, because we would never believe them or agree with them anyway. At work, people just start to tell us what we want to hear. And if we are in leadership roles, that has a serious impact on the wider company culture. It seems easier to avoid conflict. To escape embarrassment or awkwardness. But sometimes, the path of least resistance ends up being much harder in the longer term. Whether you are refusing to address a health problem, a financial problem, or a relationship problem, it will strike you that the avoidance is short lived as a strategy for comfort or reduced pain and suffering. What we resist persists, as Carl Jung famously said. Have you ever noticed that sometimes taking the less comfortable road can produce an outcome that requires much less effort in the longer term? So we get up early and make it to the gym. The yoga mat. The road, the bench, the punching bag, or the swimming pool. The rest of the day feels a lot more comfortable afterwards, because we have stimulated some chemistry within us that builds on our resilience. We've also invested a tiny bit in our self esteem, and we allow ourselves a moment of gratitude or pride in having accomplished something - just for us. The evidence of investment in those "stairs" is beyond doubt. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Beating those step challenges. Or simply going for a walk - maybe one that involves a few stairs or a steeper incline on the hill. The benefits to our mental and physical health are many. Where are the opportunities in other areas of your life where you might choose to "take the stairs"? Here's a few examples I heard about when asking others this question recently: - Apologising to your partner for being obnoxious last night - even though it was a two way street - Confronting your boss with some concerns about the direction the company might be taking that is out of sync with your values - Jumping on the scales - Speaking to your doctor about your drinking, or another health problem that is causing you some fear and shame - Ringing that client whose business you are worried about losing - Calling your Mum! It doesn't matter what it is, there is always something within each of us where we know we haven't "taken the stairs" and if we can look in the mirror, with love and a smile, maybe a wink to ourselves, and say "it's time", we will never look back. Life can, and should feel easier. There is way too much dysfunctional stress experienced within most of us to be considered healthy. However most of that stress comes from being conflicted - knowing we should say something or take some action, but worrying about the consequences - and avoiding doing the right thing. If we can remember that taking the stairs sometimes can not only be good for us, but feel good as well (maybe not during but certainly afterwards!) - then hopefully life will start to feel a lot easier. Have a great week and enjoy your moment on the stairs. Cheers - Greg
